Me vs. Any Reasonable Person's Delicate Sensibilities

Jul 7 | Posted by: Fighter #1 | Tags: My Alienating Opinions

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So trigger alert: Dead babies and Hitler. Seriously, this is going to get very dark and not at all funny.

As of this writing, I don't think any of my friends are grieving the recent death of a child, so this is probably gonna be the safest time to write this.

During the early stages of this presidential election there was much discussion over which candidates would - if given the opportunity - go back in time and murder Hitler as a baby.

That got me thinking. Sending a human being back it time to physically murder a baby seems messy. First of all, transporting a human through time is probably pretty difficult. Secondly, if they're murdering a baby, you have that whole "whose this guy who just showed up and murdered a baby" difficulty to deal with afterwards. No, if we're serious about using advanced technology to slay evil infants, we should do it cleanly.

We should make it look like an accident.

We should make it look natural.

We should make it unexplainable.

One night, the Hitler family tucks baby Adolf into bed and goes to sleep. The next morning, he's just stopped breathing.

If we have the technology to send people back in time, why don't we have the technology to send a small drone which would deliver a dose of untraceable poison - carbon monoxide would be a good choice - to the sleeping baby's room.

That's right, I'm saying that Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is may actually be time travellers murdering babies for future political reasons. We can only hope and pray that their reasons are beneficent.

Cheezy Petes! That was awful. Why did I write that?!

Anyway! it's my birthday this weekend (inappropriate, Steve!) come to my show at Cafe Coco!

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