Sliding Window of Self-loating

May 22 | Posted by: Fighter #1 | Tags: Band Stuff

I have been home recording various musical projects for well over a decade now. Throughout that time, my skill at all stages has grown slowly but continuously. Since I've never received any sort of formal instruction, my skill has never jumped up by a large margin and then plateaud. (Spell-check tells me that is the correct spelling, but I don't think I believe it.)

However, just because I'm getting better slowly, doesn't mean that I'm not getting better by significant, noticable margins. I am acutely aware of how much the quality differs between any two recording projects I complete. In fact, I have something I like to call the sliding window of self-loathing.

Basically, here's how it works. The last project I completed? It's great! The pinnacle of my recording career! The project before that? It's pretty good. I can definitely hear some spots where it could use improvement, but it's good enough. Two projects ago? Ehhh... It's not great. Anything older than that is awful.

Not to disparage our own discography (Every Regdar project is great! You should buy them all!) But I do find myself having trouble listening to anything older than Spoiler Alert! these days. I find myself mulling over how I could go back and "fix" the older recordings.

In fact, I'm a little worried that after I record the next project, I'll find myself starting to hate Spoiler Alert! a little bit. And that will just make me feel even worse, because I know how much work went into that album and how supportive you guys as fans have been. (You're all wonderful! Treat yourself to a RatF EP!)

But because of the dumb way my brain works, I'll be compelled to record another project. And then I'll inevitably compare it to the older ones, and the older ones will be in some ways lacking.

Turns out, you probably have to be a little crazy to be a musician, and it's not always entirely pleasant.

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