This will be awkward

Aug 18 | Posted by: Fighter #1 | Tags: Crackpot Theories to save the world

So here’s a fun topic! Male virginity, whoo! I’ve been seeing a lot more articles about this topic lately, which is - I think - a good thing. They’ve all usually got some worthwhile things to say.

However, I’ve noticed that the vast majority of people writing on the topic fall into two categories: male youth pastors and feminists. You know who doesn’t write about the topic? Virginal males. Well, I cleared 30 with my virginity intact, so I suppose it falls to me!

Here’s my thoughts on the topic.

The youth pastor articles can usually be summarized as: Sex won’t change your life, and everything in God’s time.

The feminist articles can usually be summarized as: Stop stressing about it you’ll be fine, and women are not objects for your pleasure.

There's also Scott Adams saying that if he knew he'd never have sex, he'd become a suicide bomber. But we're gonna ignore that opinion.

There are two things that I feel like all these articles tend to neglect:

1. You cannot rely on other people (or their genitals) to bring you happiness and fulfillment. This often gets hinted at, but it's almost always undermined. Authors will say "you need to be content with yourself", which is great, but it's almost always followed up with "eventually, you'll meet the right girl, etc." Guys, if you're stressing out about it, accept the fact that you may never have sex, and that's not that big of a deal. If the only thing keeping you even-keeled is the thought that one day, you'll probably have sex, you have bigger problems. Ultimately, your value does not come from your genitals.

i.e. You have value! You're special and worthwhile no matter what!

2. You're not entitled to sex. This is the darker version the former point. You have no claim on any other person's body. Telling young men that one day they'll meet the right girl just tells them that they deserve sex and just need to be patient and wait for it. Nope. Maybe it'll happen; maybe it won't. Either way, it's not in any way a right or entitlement.

i.e. Nobody owes you sex. Ever!

Third point to everybody else: we should probably cut it out with the virgin shaming. It's just the flip-side of the slut-shaming coin. If you're at all concerned with consent, etc. you should recognize that what a guy does with his body is his own business. (And if you're coming at it from a more conservative, sex is special and should be saved until marriage perspective, you should be proud of guys who are adhering to that lifestyle)

Alright! That was weird and uncomfortable! Next time, maybe there will be jokes?

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