Crackpot Theories: A Dearth of Miracles

May 27 | Posted by: Fighter #1 | Tags: Crackpot Theories to save the world

I've had several conversations with atheist to agnostic friends over the years that included a question something like: "If God is so existenceful, how come He has never appeared to me?"

Setting aside the fake words used by my imaginary debate partner (straw man!), I think I finally have the answer. It can be summed up in a single word: "bugfixes."

Like all developers, God has presumably been ironing out the edge cases and unexpected behaviors. For the most part, the simulation can run on its own, but every once in a while, the Big Guy needs to manually log into the the system and correct errant data.

Every giant pillar of flame or world-killing flood is just a patch. Bam! Earth 0.93rc4. Yeah, it's intrusive, but at least He's able to hot-swap these patches. Imagine the hassle if God had to power down the universe with every release candidate?

Eventually, we'll reach a point where He's happy with the stability and functionality of the system, and get powered down. We've got rumors about that date, but honestly, the Great Dev in the Sky keeps pushing back His deadlines, so I wouldn't fret about it.

Until then, enjoy the simulation, and don't forget to report any bugs you notice to the issue tracker.

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