Grading Scale of Pseudo-intellectual Cosmology

Mar 23 | Posted by: Fighter #1 | Tags: Crackpot Theories to save the world

An interesting correlation I’ve noticed over the years is that people who like to think they’re smart also tend to like to think they’re incredulous. It doesn’t really matter what they’re incredulous about. Just the smarter they think they are, the more they want to second guess things. (Especially things they disagreed with in the first place.)

Now, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my years of schooling, it’s that correlation always means causation, and that leaping to conclusions is probably the best way to go about things. I also learned that I like to see the letter A a lot and that I like to see the letter F less often. I clearly did not learn to count to 1. Which is weird, being as I study computer science, and that’s one of two numbers that we’re really expected to know.

Anyway, here’s a thing I’m proposing! The grading scale of pseudo intellectual cosmology! Grade your own level of belief in things that are difficult to prove! Clearly, if you’re a smart person, you’ll grade yourself way up there! And if you’re dumb, please admit it and give yourself the appropriate low grade. Thank you for your participation.

Aist - Refuse to believe anything. See, this one’s funny because the “a” prefix is Latin (Greek?) for not. So by not believing anything... Yeah, they’re getting dumber from here.
Bist - Acknowledge your own existence, just like Descartes would have wanted! (“I think; therefore, I B”
Cist - Believe what you see.  Bwa ha ha!
Dist - Believe in some kind of god. It’s funny ‘cause it sounds like “deist.” This is also probably the high point of the word play here.
Fist - f it I'll believe whatever. It looks like “fist” but really I’m just out of amusing things to say.

Maybe I should just stick to writing songs. Does someone have a rhyming dictionary I could borrow? I can’t think of anything that rhymes with f-ist.

Syndicate content