I Declare War On War!

I think it’s time to complain about wars. Here are the wars that we should give up on.

1. The war on drugs. It clearly isn’t working. People are still doing drugs. Perhaps we should try treating people who have addiction problems instead of wasting money overcrowding our prisons.

2. The war on terror. Because war just plain isn’t going to make people peaceful. You can’t blow up everyone! Plus it makes life terrible for everyone. There was a fantasy series written way way back in the 1980s* called The Magic Kingdom of Landover.** It followed a lot of your standard “regular guy goes to a magical world and has adventures” tropes. It had the slight difference that the guy kept coming back to earth though. Whenever he came back to earth, he would promptly begin travelling on airplanes in ways that you just can’t any more. He would jump on a plane with no ID, pay cash for one way tickets, change itineraries in suspicious ways halfway through flights. It’s so depressing to read! Air travel is this incredible mode of transport that can get you anywhere in the world in less than a day! Yet, because we’re so afraid of terrorists it’s got all these arbitrary annoyances and hindrances that make it objectively worse than it was 30 years ago.

3. The war on Christmas. If your holidays are ruined by other people not celebrating the same traditions you do in the same way, you’re clearly terrible at holidays.

4. War on Zevon. Wait. That one doesn’t make any sense. Plus, it’s Warren. Also, Warren Zevon was awesome and should not be abandoned! Forget that I posted this one, OK?

* Secret government employees dug up famous guys and ladies and made amusing genetic copies... Sorry! Got distracted there.
** Do you italicize book serieses? I know you italicize single books and put smaller works like chapters or articles in quotation marks. Does a series get italicized because it’s large then?

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